Let me start with saying this is more of a joke and messing around post before all those Sanctimommies come out of the floor boards. And all of those “experts”.
For the past week or two my son, Landen, has not kept his diaper on. He refuses to. He is now a nudist…at home of course. He stays clothed out in public. After cleaning up many accidents I went and got a little potty from Walmart. I am not bothering with the actual toilet yet because we have already tried that in the past and he is afraid of it. So kids potty it is.
Like I said, we tried the big potty before so he already knows the basics. My husband showed him how to pee standing up. So he was able to use the kids potty on his own. Without being told and without being bribed. That was the easy part. The great part.
The nightmare started with #2.
Let me explain, I thought he knew how to do it without help. I know. I know. Why did I think such a thing? Well, because he kept sitting down on it and he would grunt and strain like he was trying to poo. And he has watched me and my husband do it a lot so I mean, he should know.
Since those thought went through my brain I have had to clean up poop 3 times. And you know what the icing on the cake is? He had is accidents directly next to his potty. I mean, if he had moved over about a foot he would have been ON his potty. I feel like he does this crap on purpose to fuck with me. He is as big of a smartass as me so I feel like that is what he is doing.
Moral of this story : don’t potty train OR just don’t have kids. (kidding about the don’t have kids thing. I love my boys…but sometimes I don’t like them. haha)